


yesteryear

by camboyyukhei (redmaynes)



Series: take your time // before i make you mine [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-03 15:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17286917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redmaynes/pseuds/camboyyukhei
Summary: This is probably the best way that he'd rung in a new year, if Jaehyun did say so himself, gay panic and inability to talk to people aside.





	yesteryear

**Author's Note:**

> happy new year n all that jazz!! this was supposed to be posted on the first day of 2019 but... whoops
> 
> i've been jittery for the past few days bc of nct china/wayv and i needed an outlet so
> 
> *gestures vaguely in front of me*
> 
> *john mulaney voice* fanfiction

He probably should’ve stayed home and gotten drunk on his own accord, instead of coming to a kickback where he knew that his perpetual loneliness would be accentuated with the hordes of people— _friends_ — laughing it up with each other, couples clinging together, mingling and talking, having a good time.

Jaehyun sighed inwardly, and sipped slowly at the Citadelle that Johnny snuck into his Solo cup (“Don’t tell anyone I have the good shit,” he’d said, winking at Jaehyun before the flask disappeared behind his denim jacket, and he was whisked away by one of his frat brothers for something or other.)

At least Johnny was considerate enough to let him get pissed on quality alcohol, Jaehyun thought, surveying the crowd. Johnny was one of his good friends, so Jaehyun was basically invited to everything that Johnny was hosting or attending, but that didn’t necessarily mean that Jaehyun was familiar with Johnny’s friends. 

Seo liked his fellow extroverts and EDM, and thrived solely on jasmine milk tea, while Jaehyun shied away from large crowds, would rather take a stroll with an iced Americano and The Black Keys thrumming through his earphones.

And so here he was, hours before the new year arrived, slowly getting wasted to good alcohol and bad music. Here’s to 2019, indeed.

He muttered _excuse me_ ’s and _pardon_ ’s as he made his way through the partygoers to the backyard, struggling with the squeaky sliding door before closing it firmly behind him to muffle the loud, nasty bass of some hip-hop one-hit wonder currently dominating the airwaves.

Finally.

He could hear his own thoughts. 

There were fewer people outside, those who wanted a quieter environment to converse. Jaehyun avoided the area where some were breathing out plumes of smoke— he wasn’t in the mood to tolerate the smell of sickly sweet vape juice or pungent, heavy weed.

There was a part of the yard that was Jaehyun’s favorite; he remembered retreating into a cozy little alcove at a party a previous time, hidden by a half-arch of ivy and foliage that was almost impossible to see in the dark. It didn’t block out any noise at all, but not being able to see everyone else calmed him down a little, as he settled into the cushy L-couch situated in the corner.

He only went to parties to entertain his friends— friend, actually, it was just Johnny who bothered to wheedle him into going. Doyoung, one of his roommates, was a bit like him: a little reserved, liked to observe more than interact, and shared his love of bitter bean water. He would never join Jaehyun on any of his Johnny-sponsored excursions.

Jungwoo, Taeyong, and Winwin would’ve probably gone, like they did the other times that Jaehyun begged them to go so that he wouldn’t be awkwardly bobbing his head to trap music while clutching a cup full of god knows what like his life depended on it.

But it was New Year’s Eve, and they were back home for the holidays, while Jaehyun was stuck at school, unable to return home until the summer.

His mouth thinned just thinking about the hit that his bank account would take if he actually bought the round-trip ticket, and he took a sip of his drink, savoring the sweetness of the gin before swallowing.

_Let’s stop thinking about your ever-dwindling savings at the start of the new year, Jae._

He got into a well-known university, with great research opportunities, but being an above-average, but not quite a stellar student, with parents who made not quite enough, but just enough for him to be cut from any significant amount of financial aid, meant that he was basically fucked from the get-go.

The small scholarships that he applied for and received helped cover some expenses but seemed like chicken feed even after he chose the smallest meal plans along with choosing a triple for housing.

Asking his parents if he could take out a subsidized loan probably hurt him more than them, but deep down he knew that if he worked hard enough, he’d be able to pay it back within five, six years’ time, especially if he was hired right out of college. 

Getting his Master’s would have to wait, and Jaehyun was okay with that if it meant that he wouldn’t be putting more strain on his parents.

“Yoonoh, if you ever need anything, please let me know, okay?”

He’d regarded his mom, worried eyes fixed on his, her thin hands covering his. “I will, _eomma_.”

“When you run out of money for food, tell me.”

“Mom, I have a meal plan for a reason,” he sighed, but he knew that his words fell on deaf ears. Even he knew the limit to how he could stretch the amount over a whole school year.

“You’re bringing those old shoes, too, you’re not going to last 2 days before they fall off your feet. Your jeans too, you know how much I hate the ones with the holes,” she sniffed, absentmindedly patting his hands as she regarded his face. She was doing that thing where she was looking at him without ever making eye contact, like she was searching for something that’s been missing for many moons. Jaehyun’s never figured out what exactly she was searching for. 

“They’ve lasted for half of high school, I’m sure I’ll be okay with them for the next four years,” Jaehyun said. “Also why're you so fixated on my wardrobe all of a sudden? It’s not like my clothes are gonna fall apart the moment I step on campus.”

She made a dismissive sound, and was quiet for a while before she gave him a weak smile. 

“My baby boy’s all grown up now,” she said softly, and her eyes started getting watery and her nose was pinking a bit, which meant she was about to cry, which meant _Jaehyun_ was about to start panicking.

“Mom—” But nothing he could say would stop her from tearing up. 

“And now you’re off to college and leaving your poor _eomma_ ,” she sniffled, giving him a mock glare, but she gave a small laugh through her tears, which really shouldn’t have made him feel better, but it did.

“Stop being so dramatic,” he mumbled, even as he awkwardly gave her a one-armed hug, as she huddled in and rubbed sweeping circles on his chest, even though he wasn’t the one between the two of them that needed soothing.

“Be good, keep us in your thoughts,” she said, voice still muffled with emotions, and Jaehyun hugged her tighter, hoping that it was enough to reassure her that he would. He didn’t trust himself enough to say it out loud, lest it gave way to any tears.

Instead he made a sound that he hoped conveyed his understanding, and sympathy, and love, and worry ( _You gonna be okay when I leave, Mom?_ ), and that just made her choke out another sob. Jaehyun was left sitting there on his bed clutching basically the most important person he had in his life, someone that was there for him whenever he needed them, and now he was traveling hundreds upon hundreds of miles away to chase another flimsy piece of paper that would declare that _Joonoh Jung has handled enough asshandling and roughing up for the past few years for us to proclaim that he will be graduating from this establishment with slightly hovering, barely flying colors._

_Why was he even going to college?_

He repressed a full-body shudder at the growing amount of debt that was waiting for him at the finish line, and recoiled even more at the thought of just… spending in any way, shape, or form.

It reminded him of the conversation he had a few weeks ago with Johnny.

“You should go to OMFG with us!” he’d said, slinging his arm over Jaehyun’s shoulders, with that trademark smile of his, the one that’s full of teeth and accompanied with that half-wink of his. Jaehyun could never understand how Johnny was able to fit such casual laziness and flirtation in such a mannerism, but that’s Johnny. Things like that came easily to him.

“Nahhh.” Jaehyun had laughed it off, tried to adopt that same casualness, but it didn’t come out the same with him. “Not really my scene, y’know?”

“Yeah, yeah, we know you’re straight-edge and all that.” Johnny rolled his eyes playfully, leaning in conspiratorially. “We’re always in need of a rave dad so you would actually have to stay sober.” 

“Sounds tempting, really, looking after you and a bunch of rowdy frat bros, but I’mma have to pass this time.”

“Who said it was only us?” Johnny cocked his head, playing dumb, but Jaehyun already saw the glint in his eyes.

“No—”

“So Iris is kinda into you—”

“ _Nooooooo_.” This was the type of thing that he didn’t want to get into when his and Johnny’s world existed on the same plane.

But Johnny barreled on, ignoring Jaehyun. “And she and Parker’s been broken up for a while, and she’s like, ready to get back in the market, I guess. She just wants to get to know you, man!"

“We talked, like, once, because of that KASA boba after social, and we barely exchanged four sentences.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Bro, that’s why she’s interested in hanging out with you more. So we can all chill together for the 29th and 30th, and…” He trailed off suggestively, raising an eyebrow at Jaehyun. “You can see how things go.”

He’d already broached this topic with Jaehyun once before, and he’d shrugged Johnny off, saying that he’ll think about it, when in fact, he wasn’t going to entertain the thought of dropping two hundred fifty on an upsold pass to attend an event solely to merely babysit and make sure that no one in his company would go comatose, or whatever.

This time he had a reason that he could actually voice without hurting Johnny’s feelings. “I dunno, dude, I’m… she’s nice and all, but I’m not really into her. She’s not my type.”

“What’s your type, then?”

Jaehyun went quiet, thinking back to meeting Iris for the first time. She was definitely pretty, the textbook definition of an ABG, with her lashes and long, dyed auburn hair, and whenever she tossed her hair back, Jaehyun saw the sparkly silver of her cartilage piercings flash in the light.

But he could never see himself with an Asian Baby Girl, with her, someone who just didn’t click with his own lifestyle. And that’s the thing with dating and seeing other people— sometimes you meet someone who could be the one, but it just doesn’t work out because you’re both moving in opposite directions and you’re never able to _understand_ them or where they’re coming from. 

“I— I dunno. I don’t think I have one. Hey!” Jaehyun tried and failed to dodge Johnny’s well-aimed flick at his forehead. 

“You can’t say you have a type and then tell me you can’t think of one, dummy.”

“I mean, I know _she’s_ not. That I’m certain about.”

“Man… you’re an enigma.”

“I get that a lot.”

The corner of Jaehyun’s mouth lifted involuntarily in a woeful smile when his Instagram refreshed and the first pic was of Johnny and his squad at OMFG. 

_Caption: nuwu year nuwu me! started off 2019 w/ negative brain cells!_

He scanned the first picture, with Johnny flashing a peace sign alongside a guy making major duck lips, but Jaehyun had to admit, he looked cool and not goofy doing it. Johnny was sporting an OBEY tank, while the other dude only had on black shorts, his Calvins peeking out from the waistband, toned chest and abs on full display. ( _@luc_ass, the tags informed Jaehyun. His profile was private, and simply had his name, Lucas, with a bullseye for a bio._ ) 

They both had candy decorating their arms, with the fuchsia and blue stage lights illuminating their bodies from behind. The next pic showed Johnny with a few other people. He had a girl on his shoulders, and he recognized Iris sitting on the shoulders of another guy. Lucas was crouching down, doing that god awful praying pose, with his bold eyebrows scrunched up, but it looked ironic more than earnest, which merely made it funnier to Jaehyun.

It was a blurrier pic, probably taken at the wrong time, but it held a certain type of candid charm to it. Some of them looked like they were in the middle of laughing, their wide smiles frozen onto the screen. Jaehyun swiped to the last picture to see basically Johnny’s whole posse, all in their rave-geared glory. 

Jaehyun could admit that there was a certain appeal to rave culture: the bonds you make, the hype music, the salacious outfits, the thrill of being young and dumb and wild. It was an aesthetic that both intrigued and frightened him.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard a rustling near his hideout, and before he had time to react someone came through the entrance, heaving a long sigh, boots clunking on the wooden planks below their feet. Jaehyun made out a glint of piercings in the person’s ears, short black hair, and slim shoulders before the dim lantern lights in the backyard illuminated their face.

They had an angular face, with high cheekbones, and Jaehyun’s alcohol-addled brain helpfully supplied the word “elf” when he struggled to think of what this person reminded him of. _Pretty_. Sure. _Ethereal?_ That too.

They were shrugging off their black leather jacket when they noticed Jaehyun idly sitting on the couch, and jumped.

“Jesus C—”

“Hi,” Jaehyun intelligently said, as he drained the last of his drink and plunked his empty cup on the coffee table.

“You could’ve warned a guy next time, jeez,” he said, pressing a hand against his chest, and Jaehyun smirked.

“I mean, you came in without any warning, and I got spooked, but you don’t see me being theatrical.”

The guy snorted and slung his jacket over the back of the couch before gracefully falling into the opposite end of where Jaehyun was sprawled.

“You come in here, you steal my favorite hideaway, and _also_ have the audacity to sass me?” he said, mischief dancing in his eyes, which… had a feline quality to them.

“Happy new year,” Jaehyun lazily replied, and he laughed at that, nose scrunching up, grin wide.

Jaehyun looked away after a few seconds, lest the other caught him staring a little too long. He felt awkward not having anything to do with his hands, and going on his phone was pretty rude when he was starting a conversation with someone new. He itched to at least have a drink so he didn’t look so stilted, sitting here in the near dark with no company until just a few moments ago.

“I’m Jaehyun, by the way.”

“I’m Ten.”

“Ten? Like the number?”

“No, the letter.”

Jaehyun huffed lightly. “Hey, I was just making sure. Is that your…”

Ten gave a one-sided shrug. “No. It’s no use telling people your real name when they barely make an effort to pronounce it right.”

“Mm.” Jaehyun nodded slowly at that. He could empathize, because all his life, people would butcher his name, a mere two syllables, beyond recognition, and it amazed him how _wrong_ they could get it sometimes.

It was quiet for a while, but this wasn’t a comfortable kind of silence. This silence stretched taut around the both of them, tightening and threatening to snap at the slightest wrong move.

“So, uh… What brings you here?” He decided to settle on a banal question, to ease the awkwardness.

Ten fiddled with the thin, metallic bracelets around his left wrist. “I know a couple of the frat brothers, and they always let me know about any details regarding happenings, so…” He gestured vaguely around him with a slender hand. “Here I am.” 

“That’s funny, I’ve never seen you around.”

“I can say the same.” Ten cocked his head. “I wouldn’t forget a face like yours if I saw you in a crowd, to be honest.”

Without his own volition, Jaehyun warmed at the compliment, and he kept his face impassive even when his cheeks were definitely pinking. “Thanks. I— I would remember yours too, I guess. Not in a bad way! You have a really interesting face. But a nice one. Like— it’s good. I definitely like it.”

Ten, to his credit, did not show any annoyance at Jaehyun’s inability to speak like a functioning human being and smiled faintly. “Are you always like this or can I blame this on the alcohol?”

“Who knows, honestly,” Jaehyun muttered, scrubbing at his face with his hand. “I’m incoherent pretty much all the time.”

“Aren’t we all?” Ten said, and Jaehyun hummed in agreement. "Okay, my turn to ask: why are  _you_ here, Jaehyun?"

"Didn't have plans, and couldn't travel home, so I, uh, was convinced by one of the guys, Johnny, to come. If he's here I make an effort to go."

Ten nodded knowingly. "Johnny. He and I go back."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We went to the same junior high, and then different high schools, but since we were both in Decathlon we managed to keep in touch. Funny how we're both in the same university years later."

"No way, we've been buddies since high school," Jaehyun said. "You know anyone else here?"

Ten tilted his head back, his profile prominent to Jaehyun, especially the curve of his nose and the soft swell of his lips. "Taeil, and Yuta. Both upperclassmen, and really nice, too. But I just stick to my friends at parties or kickbacks, but they're all back home or have plans. I feel kinda sad that I'm spending New Year's Eve alone, though." He laughed, a short, sharp sound with no mirth whatsoever.

Jaehyun’s heart twinged a bit at hearing the thinly veiled bitterness in Ten’s voice. “That makes two of us. Misery loves company, yeah?”

The tightness in his chest eased a bit when Ten huffed amusedly at his weak joke. “Well, I hope company’s willing to stay a little longer than normal.”

“Company’s… willing to help misery in any possible way,” Jaehyun said, before he could stop himself. _It really be his own mouth_.

Ten, though, looked a little less down already, and Jaehyun counted that as a victory. He’d turned to face Jaehyun, his legs folded gracefully in front of him, leaning forward to rest his chin on his knees. “You’re very kind,” he murmured, blinking slowly at Jaehyun, and Jaehyun had to swallow discreetly, trying not to panic at the uptick of his heart rate suddenly. 

“I try.”

“Tell me about yourself, Jaehyun.” 

“Uh—” He wasn’t really sure where to go with that, but Ten was looking at him so expectantly, so he inwardly sighed and began his usual spiel.

_I’m… Jaehyun Jung. First year in Warren College, majoring in Biochem. I was born on Valentine’s Day, and I’m an Aquarius if that means anything._

_I like minimalism, giraffes, and classic rock, and I’m really into cooking, even though I’m mediocre at best._

"What about you? Tell me about yourself."

Ten looked up and off to the side, appearing to be deep in thought.  “I’m doing dance. First year. Muir College. I’m a Pisces. Pineapple on pizza is an atrocity and I don’t understand why people enjoy it. Pop art is pretty cool, and I dig Frank Ocean.

“What are your aspirations?” Ten interjected, his gaze intent on Jaehyun, and the latter had to avert his eyes for a bit. _Did Ten really have to stare at him like that?_

“Aspirations? Uhh… I guess.” Jaehyun rubbed at his neck, shifting so that he was facing Ten more squarely. “To graduate in four years, and hopefully not with a crippling amount of debt. Hopefully I’ll have a job that actually pertains to my major. Just simple things.”

Ten smiled crookedly. “Yep, simple.”

Jaehyun furrowed his brow at him. “Well, what are _your_ aspirations, then?”

Ten straightened up and stretched out his legs, his boots almost grazing Jaehyun’s shins, and he hummed noncommittally. “I want to be content with what I’m working towards in the next few years. I want to grow. And have fun. And work hard. But also have a good time while doing so.”

“You want a lot of things,” Jaehyun said, and Ten lightly touched the toe of his boot against his leg.

“I want and deserve a lot of things.”

He snorted. “Can’t relate.”  


“Hey, it’s my job to be melancholy here, you can be a sad little emo some other time,” Ten retorted, face breaking out into a grin, his pearl-white teeth flashing at Jaehyun.  


“And it’s my brand to be emo, trademarked and copyrighted. Back off,” he said, which made Ten break out into laughter, his voice ringing clear in the quiet night air.  


“You look too good to be this sad.”  


Jaehyun paused and looked over at Ten, who stared back at him coolly. “Are you trying to say something right now?”

“I mean...” Ten shifted a little bit closer to him. “What do you think I’m trying to say?”

Both of them looked in the direction of the house when the volume raised all of a sudden, with people hooting and hollering. Jaehyun could make out a rhythmic type of chanting, and it hit him: they were counting down.

_(Twenty, nineteen, eighteen)_

“Have you ever gotten a New Year’s Kiss?” Ten interrupted his thoughts, and he turned back as the Christmas lights that were still hung on the roof lit up, casting their white glow on him and Ten. The new light cast more subtle shadows on Ten’s face, accentuating his sharp features and piercing eyes.

“N-no. Have you?”

“Yeah. Nothing spectacular though,” Ten breezily replied, and he sat up to move closer to Jaehyun--

_(Twelve, eleven, ten)_

\--And Jaehyun, without thinking, leaned into the lessening space between them, _fuck what was he doing--_

“How’re you feeling?” Ten murmured this, and he was right there, in front of Jaehyun, just inches away. If Jaehyun took a deep breath he could catch the scent of orange blossoms and... the slightest hint of a warmer, earthier scent. Green tea?

“I. I’m— I dunno.”

_(Five, four)_

“Is this okay?” Ten’s eyes were scanning his face, looking for—

Approval? Apprehension? Acceptance?

Jaehyun’s breath hitched in his throat, and he couldn’t reply when his heart was literally fluttering in his chest, and it jumped to his throat when Ten raised a hand to touch his jaw, long fingers ghosting the edge of it. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so they stayed in his lap, clenched tightly to keep them from shaking.

_ (Three, two) _

“One,” Ten whispered, but he paused, and stayed in place. Letting Jaehyun pull back if he needed to.

But he didn’t want to. So he closed his eyes and waited for Ten.

The soft brush of lips on his cheek was unexpected, but not unwelcome. He opened his eyes just as Ten was pulling back. The cheering and whooping got even louder after midnight hit, and Jaehyun could make out the sound of popping champagne bottles, but he had ears only for the small exhalation of air from Ten, the breathy laugh that escaped from his mouth.

“Sorry, didn’t know if you were gay enough for an actual kiss,” Ten said, eyes crinkling with amusement.

“Uh huh,” Jaehyun replied dumbly, blinking at him. Ten’s hand was still cradling his jaw, and it shifted to the back of his neck to rub light circles at his nape. "I wouldn't have minded."  


"Hmm. Maybe next time."

"There's a next time?" Jaehyun said, and he almost reeled back in consternation at the hope that saturated his words.

Ten opened his mouth to reply, but there was a sharp vibration in Jaehyun's back pocket that startled him. 

** What's Seo Dude **

[12:02 am] CHAMPERS TIME DUDE, WYA

[12:02 am] You missed the group swig, get ur ass into the living room so I can cheers one with you

** Me **

[12:02 am] Ok just a sec

"Johnny's calling me," he said, and Ten nodded, motioning towards Jaehyun's phone. Jaehyun furrowed his brow, not comprehending until Ten said, "Let me give you my number."

After his thumbs did a quick flurry across the screen, he handed it back with a smile.

"Keep in touch."

Jaehyun  _mhm_ 'd in reply and Ten fluttered his fingers at him in farewell. 

After he downed a class of champagne with Johnny, who hugged him gleefully and laughed too loudly in his ear, he followed a group of people that were being shuttled back to campus. 

After getting ready for bed, Jaehyun settled into his blankets and opened Ten's contact.

** Me **

[12:49 am] It's Jaehyun

** ten ✨ **

[12:52 am] :)

He sat back against his pillows, thumbs hovering over his screen, not sure what to say next, but it was late. Ten probably needed to get his sleep.

He threw his phone to the foot of his bed with a sigh. Suddenly the adrenaline from going out for the night waned, draining out of his body until his bones felt heavy, head dense and lolling back. He burrowed deeper into his nest of blankets and shut his eyes.

He was almost lulled to sleep, before thinking back to that feather-light touch on his face, Ten's hand ghosting across his cheek, his subtle scent so maddeningly light but addictive that Jaehyun unconsciously turned his head to the side to chase the phantom aroma.

Jaehyun finally drifted off to sleep, and when he would wake it would be the first morning of the new year, with his first dream of 2019 being of dark eyes and a sly smile, and kisses as light as butterfly wings on his skin.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are always appreciated (: i also would really appreciate it if anyone gives me concrit! always trying to improve as a writer ehe ;u;
> 
> this will become a series!


End file.
